chameleon girl and the boy who loves her by inkstaineddove, literature
Literature
chameleon girl and the boy who loves her
i am tentatively working on
creating who i am.
i can't remember a time when
i wasn't presenting the mask
people best wanted to see.
my personalities are like outfits,
shifting and changing for
every occasion and person
you can imagine.
i have played every role -
slut,
innocent schoolgirl,
heartless bitch,
damsel in distress,
and they've all taken form
as the manic pixie dream girl.
you can understand why
it would be hard for me to
simply fall into being myself
when i've never once done such an
absurd and unlikable thing.
but i am a fool for you
and will learn myself through
ripping off each layer of armor,
destroying every lie i've ever
Laid on sheets of feverish rage
Cheeks flushed with fury
Under a heavy quilt of hurt
Crimson threads weaving through
My veins I can’t see past the
Red of anger clouding the color in my eyes
And my tongue tastes sour
As harsh thoughts begin to
Tumble from my brain into my mouth
And taint the air with things I don’t mean
So that later Guilt can make
His nest in my heart
Parading in with an army of tears
To drown my anger in
An overwhelming wave of Depression
Turning quicker than the blink of an eye
From rage to sorrow and self-loathing
Changing my fury into bullets fired
At my own broken mind
I shatter like a stained glass wind
And when all is right
In this world
I feel the moonlight
Slip through the fabric of my shirt
Soak into my bones
And fill up the emptiness
Inside me
As the stars brighten my mind
And the night sky blankets me
In the cool touch of serenity
But when the world is no longer
Peaceful
I feel the sun rays pierce
My fragile skin
I feel the flaming sea
Fill my lungs
Waves crash over my head
And pull me down into
The frightening depths
Where there is no hope or joy
Only the suffocating blackness
Of the water
And I cannot breathe
I am drowning
But death has no respite for me
I must continue to
Struggle for air
I used to think it would never end
And
I.
I'm the comet that appeared for the first time
that will never return
through the judgment of your life,
revealing myself,
only to have you receive what I bring
as the love you long to take and return
without reservation
before the ice dust from my departure
fades for all time.
II.
Through the slender-necked sitar's silvery notes
pass the fragrance of our moonstruck limbs
surrendering to breezes
that play off a river that honors
the generations of lovers we now embody.
III.
You were the fallen angel that waited so long,
knowing I'd be found,
to resuscitate and raise you up;
Not from whence you toppled,
but to couple in a holy damna